1 00:00:45,835 --> 00:00:49,296 ♪ Oh ♪ 2 00:00:49,380 --> 00:00:52,424 ♪ A newlywed couple just moved to town ♪ 3 00:00:52,842 --> 00:00:56,011 ♪ A regular husband and wife ♪ 4 00:00:56,470 --> 00:01:01,559 ♪ Who left the big city To find a quiet life ♪ 5 00:01:02,059 --> 00:01:05,312 ♪ WandaVision! ♪ 6 00:01:08,607 --> 00:01:12,611 ♪ She's a magical gal In a small town locale ♪ 7 00:01:12,695 --> 00:01:16,282 ♪ He's a hubby who's part machine ♪ 8 00:01:18,367 --> 00:01:21,620 ♪ How will this duo fit in and fulfill all? ♪ 9 00:01:21,704 --> 00:01:26,917 ♪ By sharing a love like you've never seen ♪ 10 00:01:28,711 --> 00:01:34,383 ♪ WandaVision! ♪ 11 00:01:49,106 --> 00:01:51,358 My wife and her flying saucers. 12 00:01:51,442 --> 00:01:54,945 My husband and his indestructible head. 13 00:01:55,529 --> 00:01:57,031 Aren't we a fine pair? 14 00:01:59,241 --> 00:02:04,121 What do you say to silver dollar pancakes, crispy hash browns, bacon, eggs, 15 00:02:04,205 --> 00:02:06,373 freshly squeezed orange juice, and black coffee? 16 00:02:06,457 --> 00:02:08,542 I say, "Oh, I don't eat food." 17 00:02:09,502 --> 00:02:11,879 Well, that explains the empty refrigerator. 18 00:02:14,340 --> 00:02:15,382 - Wanda? - Hmm? 19 00:02:15,883 --> 00:02:18,052 Is there something special about today? 20 00:02:18,469 --> 00:02:20,638 Well, I know the apron is a bit much, dear, 21 00:02:20,721 --> 00:02:22,973 but I am doing my best to blend in. 22 00:02:23,057 --> 00:02:24,391 No, no, there on the calendar. 23 00:02:24,475 --> 00:02:28,062 Someone's drawn a little heart right above today's date. 24 00:02:29,313 --> 00:02:31,065 - Oh, yes, the heart. - Hmm… 25 00:02:32,274 --> 00:02:34,276 Well, don't tell me you have forgotten, Vis. 26 00:02:34,401 --> 00:02:35,402 "Forgotten"? 27 00:02:35,486 --> 00:02:37,988 Oh, Wanda, I'm incapable of forgetfulness. I remember everything. 28 00:02:38,072 --> 00:02:41,659 That's not an exaggeration. In fact, I'm incapable of exaggeration. 29 00:02:41,742 --> 00:02:44,703 Well, then tell me what's so important about today's date. 30 00:02:46,830 --> 00:02:48,040 What was the question again? 31 00:02:48,582 --> 00:02:50,334 Oh, well, perhaps, you've forgotten yourself. 32 00:02:50,417 --> 00:02:53,212 Me? Heavens, no. I've been so looking forward to it. 33 00:02:53,295 --> 00:02:54,713 As have I. 34 00:02:54,797 --> 00:02:56,465 Today, we are celebrating… 35 00:02:57,049 --> 00:02:58,384 You bet we are. 36 00:02:58,467 --> 00:03:01,720 - It's the first time we… - Mmm-hmm. 37 00:03:01,804 --> 00:03:04,557 …have ever celebrated this occasion before. 38 00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:06,225 It's a special day! 39 00:03:06,308 --> 00:03:08,352 - Perhaps an evening… - Of great significance… 40 00:03:08,435 --> 00:03:09,520 - To us both! - Naturally. 41 00:03:09,603 --> 00:03:11,063 - Obviously. - Exactly. 42 00:03:11,981 --> 00:03:12,982 Well done, us. 43 00:03:13,524 --> 00:03:14,900 All right. 44 00:03:15,401 --> 00:03:17,361 Well, that's me off to work, then. 45 00:03:18,112 --> 00:03:19,113 Oh, don't forget! 46 00:03:20,030 --> 00:03:21,156 I haven't. 47 00:03:22,199 --> 00:03:23,242 Oh! 48 00:03:29,123 --> 00:03:30,124 Have a good day, dear! 49 00:03:52,021 --> 00:03:53,022 Oh! 50 00:03:53,105 --> 00:03:55,858 Hello, dear. I'm Agnes, your neighbor to the right. 51 00:03:55,983 --> 00:03:57,484 My right, not yours. 52 00:03:57,568 --> 00:04:00,487 Forgive me for not stopping by sooner to welcome you to the block. 53 00:04:00,571 --> 00:04:03,115 My mother-in-law was in town, so I wasn't. 54 00:04:04,658 --> 00:04:06,827 So, what's your name? Where are you from? 55 00:04:06,911 --> 00:04:09,455 And most importantly, how's your bridge game, hon? 56 00:04:11,373 --> 00:04:12,374 I'm Wanda. 57 00:04:12,791 --> 00:04:15,127 Wanda. Charmed. 58 00:04:16,212 --> 00:04:18,714 Golly, you settled in fast! 59 00:04:18,797 --> 00:04:20,341 Did you use a moving company? 60 00:04:20,841 --> 00:04:24,345 I sure did. Those boxes don't move themselves. 61 00:04:25,721 --> 00:04:29,850 So what's a single gal like you doing rattling around this big house? 62 00:04:29,934 --> 00:04:31,185 Oh, no, I'm not single. 63 00:04:31,268 --> 00:04:32,728 Oh, I don't see a ring. 64 00:04:32,811 --> 00:04:35,147 Well, I assure you I'm married. 65 00:04:35,314 --> 00:04:37,691 To a man. A human one and tall. 66 00:04:37,775 --> 00:04:41,195 As a matter of fact, he'll be home later tonight for a special occasion. 67 00:04:41,278 --> 00:04:42,404 Just the two of us. 68 00:04:42,488 --> 00:04:43,864 Oh, is it somebody's birthday? 69 00:04:43,948 --> 00:04:45,533 Not a birthday. 70 00:04:45,616 --> 00:04:47,284 Well, today isn't a holiday, is it? 71 00:04:47,368 --> 00:04:49,703 No, it's not a holiday. 72 00:04:49,787 --> 00:04:51,205 An anniversary then? 73 00:04:51,288 --> 00:04:52,540 Ye… Yes! 74 00:04:52,623 --> 00:04:55,376 Yes! It's our anniversary! 75 00:04:55,459 --> 00:04:57,962 Oh, how marvelous! 76 00:04:58,045 --> 00:04:59,380 How many years? 77 00:04:59,964 --> 00:05:02,591 Well, it feels like we've always been together. 78 00:05:02,675 --> 00:05:04,093 Lucky gal. 79 00:05:04,677 --> 00:05:07,054 The only way Ralph would remember our anniversary 80 00:05:07,137 --> 00:05:09,265 is if there was a beer named June 2nd. 81 00:05:10,558 --> 00:05:13,060 - So, what do you have planned? - How do you mean? 82 00:05:13,143 --> 00:05:14,687 For your special night. 83 00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:17,648 A young thing like you doesn't have to do much, 84 00:05:17,773 --> 00:05:20,025 but it's still fun to set the scene. 85 00:05:20,568 --> 00:05:24,780 Say, I was just reading a crackerjack magazine article 86 00:05:24,864 --> 00:05:28,909 called "How To Treat Your Husband To Keep Your Husband," 87 00:05:28,993 --> 00:05:31,579 and let me tell you, what Ralph could really use 88 00:05:31,662 --> 00:05:35,416 is, "How To Goose Your Wife So You Don't Lose Your Wife." 89 00:05:36,959 --> 00:05:40,212 Hang on. I'll go grab it and we can start planning. 90 00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:42,631 Oh, this is gonna be a gas! 91 00:05:45,593 --> 00:05:46,594 Oh… 92 00:05:48,554 --> 00:05:52,183 ♪ Or you don't go out Friday night Yakety yak! ♪ 93 00:05:52,808 --> 00:05:55,352 ♪ You just put on your coat and hat ♪ 94 00:05:56,228 --> 00:06:00,774 Here are those computational forms that you requested, Norm. 95 00:06:01,525 --> 00:06:02,526 There you go. 96 00:06:03,777 --> 00:06:05,613 Gee willikers, that was fast! 97 00:06:06,655 --> 00:06:08,574 Hey, the music isn't bothering you, is it, pal? 98 00:06:08,657 --> 00:06:10,201 In terms of distraction from work, 99 00:06:10,284 --> 00:06:12,620 or the largely nonsensical nature of the lyrics? 100 00:06:13,829 --> 00:06:16,290 - The first one. - Ah, no, thank you, Norm. 101 00:06:17,583 --> 00:06:20,085 Hey, is there somethin' I can help you with, buddy? 102 00:06:20,961 --> 00:06:22,463 Yes, as a matter of fact, there is. 103 00:06:22,546 --> 00:06:27,718 Would you be so good as to tell me what it is we do here exactly? 104 00:06:28,469 --> 00:06:30,179 Do we make something? 105 00:06:30,262 --> 00:06:31,555 - No. - Right. 106 00:06:31,639 --> 00:06:34,058 Do we buy or sell something? 107 00:06:34,141 --> 00:06:35,351 No and no. 108 00:06:35,434 --> 00:06:37,728 Then what is the purpose of this company? 109 00:06:38,312 --> 00:06:42,399 All I know is, since you've gotten here, productivity has gone up 300%. 110 00:06:42,525 --> 00:06:44,735 Yes, but what is it we're producing? 111 00:06:44,818 --> 00:06:46,195 Computational forms. 112 00:06:46,278 --> 00:06:48,697 And no one can process the data quite like you do, pal. 113 00:06:48,781 --> 00:06:50,491 You're like a walking computer. 114 00:06:50,574 --> 00:06:52,618 What? I most certainly am not. 115 00:06:52,701 --> 00:06:55,788 I'm a regular carbon-based employee made entirely of organic matter, 116 00:06:55,871 --> 00:06:57,831 much like yourself, Norm. 117 00:06:57,915 --> 00:07:00,751 Hey! What's got your feathers all ruffled? 118 00:07:02,002 --> 00:07:03,838 Yes, I'm sorry, I'm a tad on edge. 119 00:07:03,921 --> 00:07:06,924 You see, it appears there's something special about today, 120 00:07:07,007 --> 00:07:08,634 special to Wanda, that's my wife, 121 00:07:08,717 --> 00:07:12,680 and gee, I can't, for the life of me, recall what it is. 122 00:07:13,055 --> 00:07:14,640 Mmm… Oh! 123 00:07:16,809 --> 00:07:17,810 Good to see you. 124 00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:19,645 - Vision. - Yes? 125 00:07:19,728 --> 00:07:21,689 Wife and I are looking forward to this evening. 126 00:07:22,815 --> 00:07:24,775 Mr. Hart. Of course! 127 00:07:25,317 --> 00:07:28,195 Dinner with Mr. Hart and his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart. 128 00:07:28,279 --> 00:07:30,030 That's what I said. What's wrong with you? 129 00:07:30,114 --> 00:07:33,409 - Have you got a screw loose? - Oh, no, sir. Screws all tightened, sir. 130 00:07:33,492 --> 00:07:35,035 Yes, I should hope so. 131 00:07:35,578 --> 00:07:37,079 Employee dinners are a rite of passage 132 00:07:37,162 --> 00:07:38,539 - for the new hires. - Ah. 133 00:07:38,622 --> 00:07:40,416 Jones over there failed miserably. 134 00:07:40,499 --> 00:07:41,750 Isn't that right, Jones? 135 00:07:42,126 --> 00:07:44,420 The wife thought five courses would be sufficient. 136 00:07:45,254 --> 00:07:47,381 And there was that paltry excuse for entertainment. 137 00:07:48,257 --> 00:07:49,466 A string quartet? 138 00:07:49,550 --> 00:07:53,262 And then you had that embarrassing display of beatnik enthusiasm. 139 00:07:53,345 --> 00:07:54,722 I wore a turtleneck. 140 00:07:56,223 --> 00:07:58,851 Yes. Best of luck out there in the unemployment line, Jones. 141 00:07:59,894 --> 00:08:02,730 You know, I owe my success to being a keen judge of character. 142 00:08:03,230 --> 00:08:05,191 No skeletons in your closet, eh, Vision? 143 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:08,110 I don't have a skeleton, sir. 144 00:08:08,736 --> 00:08:12,281 Glad to hear it. Your future in this company depends on it. 145 00:08:19,538 --> 00:08:20,748 And you don't have a song? 146 00:08:20,831 --> 00:08:22,750 Nothing special you played at your wedding? 147 00:08:22,833 --> 00:08:24,043 No, nothing special. 148 00:08:24,543 --> 00:08:26,253 I'll just loan you some records then. 149 00:08:27,004 --> 00:08:31,383 So, we've got music covered, decor, wardrobe. Oh! 150 00:08:31,967 --> 00:08:33,802 What about seduction techniques? 151 00:08:34,553 --> 00:08:35,846 Oh, I have those. 152 00:08:35,930 --> 00:08:37,806 Of course, you do. 153 00:08:38,599 --> 00:08:40,976 Just out of curiosity, what does it say? 154 00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:45,606 That you should stumble when you walk into a room so he can catch you. 155 00:08:46,023 --> 00:08:47,066 It's romantic. 156 00:08:47,149 --> 00:08:48,734 Any other tricks? 157 00:08:48,817 --> 00:08:52,780 You could point out that the death rate of single men is twice that of married men. 158 00:08:53,656 --> 00:08:55,533 Now, that's romantic. 159 00:08:57,660 --> 00:08:59,203 Oh! 160 00:09:03,374 --> 00:09:04,375 Vision residence. 161 00:09:04,458 --> 00:09:06,502 - Wanda, darling. - Vision, sweetheart. 162 00:09:06,585 --> 00:09:07,670 Listen, about tonight… 163 00:09:07,753 --> 00:09:11,131 Don't worry, dear. I have everything under control. 164 00:09:11,215 --> 00:09:12,675 Oh, well, that is a relief. 165 00:09:12,758 --> 00:09:15,261 I must confess, I'm really rather nervous. 166 00:09:15,845 --> 00:09:17,429 "Nervous"? Whatever for? 167 00:09:17,513 --> 00:09:20,015 Well, you know, darling, I still get a little tongue-tied. 168 00:09:20,808 --> 00:09:24,687 Vis, after all this time… 169 00:09:24,770 --> 00:09:26,772 There's an awful lot riding on this one, Wanda. 170 00:09:27,565 --> 00:09:31,652 If tonight doesn't go just so, I think this could be the end. 171 00:09:33,070 --> 00:09:35,906 Well, it's just one night. There's no need to get dramatic. 172 00:09:35,990 --> 00:09:38,826 Look, I think the best course of action is to impress the wife. 173 00:09:38,909 --> 00:09:42,997 And I think the best course of action is to impress the husband. 174 00:09:44,081 --> 00:09:45,124 Well, wonderful! 175 00:09:45,207 --> 00:09:47,042 Glad to know we're both on the same page. 176 00:09:47,126 --> 00:09:48,627 Until tonight, then, my, darling. 177 00:09:48,711 --> 00:09:49,920 Until tonight. 178 00:09:50,588 --> 00:09:51,797 Oh… 179 00:09:57,678 --> 00:10:00,347 Is your husband tired of you burning his toast? 180 00:10:02,224 --> 00:10:04,643 Try our new and improved ToastMate 2000. 181 00:10:05,186 --> 00:10:07,313 It's the go-to for clever housewives. 182 00:10:07,646 --> 00:10:10,691 Say, this machine has some shine. 183 00:10:10,774 --> 00:10:11,901 You said it. 184 00:10:11,984 --> 00:10:15,070 Set the dial and get the taste back into your toast. 185 00:10:20,367 --> 00:10:23,287 Top and bottom heating elements can handle anything 186 00:10:23,370 --> 00:10:27,541 from meatloaf, to cherry pie, to open-faced cheese sandwiches. 187 00:10:36,759 --> 00:10:40,513 The all new ToastMate 2000 by Stark Industries. 188 00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:43,516 Forget the past. This is your future. 189 00:10:48,229 --> 00:10:49,438 Here we are! 190 00:10:50,856 --> 00:10:51,857 Oh! 191 00:10:52,733 --> 00:10:54,944 How very atmospheric! 192 00:10:55,027 --> 00:10:57,530 What's going on here, Vision? You blow a fuse? 193 00:10:57,613 --> 00:11:01,325 Pardon me while I just go and fetch the lady of the house. 194 00:11:07,665 --> 00:11:08,749 Guess who? 195 00:11:09,542 --> 00:11:10,543 Wanda! 196 00:11:11,168 --> 00:11:12,169 Vision. 197 00:11:12,253 --> 00:11:13,587 Oh! Oh! 198 00:11:14,171 --> 00:11:15,214 Ah… 199 00:11:15,297 --> 00:11:16,632 What is the meaning of this? 200 00:11:16,715 --> 00:11:18,843 Well, what is… 201 00:11:18,926 --> 00:11:20,261 Yeah, what is the meaning of… 202 00:11:20,344 --> 00:11:21,387 Oh, the meaning of it! 203 00:11:21,470 --> 00:11:23,806 You want to know the meaning of it and the meaning of it 204 00:11:23,889 --> 00:11:29,311 is that this is the traditional Sokovian greeting of hospitality. 205 00:11:29,979 --> 00:11:32,189 - Guess who? - Is that my host behind me? 206 00:11:32,273 --> 00:11:33,399 It certainly is. 207 00:11:33,482 --> 00:11:35,860 - Lovely to make your acquaintance. - Yes! 208 00:11:35,943 --> 00:11:38,362 See, I forgot to tell you my wife is from Europe. 209 00:11:39,196 --> 00:11:41,240 Oh, how exotic! 210 00:11:41,323 --> 00:11:43,158 We don't break bread with Bolsheviks. 211 00:11:43,242 --> 00:11:44,660 Oh, hush, Arthur! 212 00:11:44,743 --> 00:11:47,288 Have you no culture at all? 213 00:11:47,371 --> 00:11:48,497 And that dress! 214 00:11:48,581 --> 00:11:53,419 Yes! It's… It's so… Sokovian, is what it is! Yes! 215 00:11:53,919 --> 00:11:57,381 Can I just see you in the kitchen for a moment, sweetheart? 216 00:11:57,464 --> 00:11:58,465 Oh, yes! 217 00:12:01,093 --> 00:12:02,970 - Who are those people? - What are you wearing? 218 00:12:03,053 --> 00:12:05,014 - Why are they here? - What are you wearing? 219 00:12:05,097 --> 00:12:06,432 Well, it's our anniversary! 220 00:12:06,515 --> 00:12:07,766 Our anniversary of what? 221 00:12:07,850 --> 00:12:10,269 Well, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you! 222 00:12:11,228 --> 00:12:14,398 That… That man through there is my boss, Mr. Hart! 223 00:12:14,481 --> 00:12:16,233 And his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart! 224 00:12:16,317 --> 00:12:19,069 The heart on the calendar was an abbreviation! 225 00:12:19,153 --> 00:12:22,323 You move at the speed of sound and I can make a pen float through the air. 226 00:12:22,406 --> 00:12:23,824 Who needs to abbreviate? 227 00:12:23,908 --> 00:12:26,952 Darling, listen, it's all romantic to do the candles, the music, 228 00:12:27,036 --> 00:12:28,871 - that stunning outfit… - Well… 229 00:12:28,954 --> 00:12:31,248 I don't wanna be unappreciative, but right now… 230 00:12:31,332 --> 00:12:33,751 Your boss and his wife are expecting a home-cooked meal. 231 00:12:33,834 --> 00:12:34,835 Exactly. 232 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:36,962 Any chance they'd settle 233 00:12:37,046 --> 00:12:39,673 for a single chocolate-covered strawberry split three ways? 234 00:12:39,757 --> 00:12:41,008 Uh… 235 00:12:41,091 --> 00:12:42,593 I might have a better idea. 236 00:12:45,262 --> 00:12:46,305 Hmm. 237 00:12:46,555 --> 00:12:50,309 So I said, "If we orient the forms horizontally rather than vertically, 238 00:12:50,893 --> 00:12:54,188 "we can use twice the paper, we can bill twice the cost." 239 00:12:55,773 --> 00:12:57,650 You truly are a pioneer! 240 00:12:57,733 --> 00:13:00,361 But the larger purpose of the forms is… 241 00:13:00,486 --> 00:13:02,321 Was to analyze our input and our output. 242 00:13:02,404 --> 00:13:03,405 Huh. 243 00:13:04,448 --> 00:13:06,242 You're awfully dense, aren't you, Vision? 244 00:13:09,119 --> 00:13:10,704 Oh, Agnes! You're a life-saver! 245 00:13:10,788 --> 00:13:12,331 What kind of housewife would I be 246 00:13:12,414 --> 00:13:15,709 if I didn't have a gourmet meal for four just lying about the place? 247 00:13:15,793 --> 00:13:16,794 Well… 248 00:13:16,877 --> 00:13:19,421 Not that Ralph ever wants to eat anything but baked beans 249 00:13:19,505 --> 00:13:22,424 which explains a lot about his personal appeal, mind you. 250 00:13:22,842 --> 00:13:24,802 - Oh, my! - Oh! Oh! 251 00:13:24,885 --> 00:13:26,846 Do you think Wanda needs help in the kitchen? 252 00:13:26,929 --> 00:13:29,640 We haven't any tidbits or tartlets out here, 253 00:13:29,723 --> 00:13:30,850 nary a pig in a blanket. 254 00:13:30,933 --> 00:13:32,142 No, that… 255 00:13:32,518 --> 00:13:34,603 No, that's so kind of you, Mrs. Hart. 256 00:13:34,687 --> 00:13:36,856 But I'm sure she's absolutely fine in there! 257 00:13:36,939 --> 00:13:39,316 Oh, thank you, Agnes. I think I've got it covered from here. 258 00:13:39,441 --> 00:13:40,568 - Oh, are you sure, dear? - Hmm. 259 00:13:40,651 --> 00:13:43,904 Many hands make light work. And many mouths make good gossip. 260 00:13:43,988 --> 00:13:45,406 You're so naughty! 261 00:13:45,489 --> 00:13:47,408 Oh, shall I just pre-heat the oven then, dear? 262 00:13:47,491 --> 00:13:49,827 - That won't be necessary. - Oh, All right, then. 263 00:13:49,910 --> 00:13:52,830 Well, I know you're in a pinch so this menu can be done in a snap. 264 00:13:52,913 --> 00:13:55,624 Lobster Thermidor with mini-minced meat turnovers to start. 265 00:13:55,708 --> 00:13:58,752 Chicken à la King with twice-cooked new potatoes for your second course, 266 00:13:58,836 --> 00:14:01,213 and Steak Diane and mint jellies for your main. 267 00:14:01,922 --> 00:14:03,507 Do you set your own jellies, dear? 268 00:14:03,591 --> 00:14:05,593 - Yes. - Good girl. 269 00:14:05,676 --> 00:14:07,678 Recipe cards are on the counter there. 270 00:14:07,761 --> 00:14:09,013 Bon appétit! 271 00:14:09,096 --> 00:14:10,514 Oh! 272 00:14:13,893 --> 00:14:15,019 Oh, oh. 273 00:14:15,102 --> 00:14:16,145 You men stay put. 274 00:14:16,228 --> 00:14:19,607 - I sense a domestic emergency, so… - Mrs. Hart, please don't. You can't. 275 00:14:19,690 --> 00:14:21,525 You… Please… 276 00:14:21,609 --> 00:14:25,654 ♪ Yeah, take out the papers and the trash ♪ 277 00:14:25,738 --> 00:14:28,073 ♪ Or you won't get no spending cash ♪ 278 00:14:29,491 --> 00:14:31,869 ♪ If you don't scrub the kitchen floor ♪ 279 00:14:33,078 --> 00:14:34,830 ♪ You ain't gonna rock and roll no more ♪ 280 00:14:34,914 --> 00:14:36,790 ♪ Yakety yak! Don't talk back ♪ 281 00:14:41,504 --> 00:14:45,508 Well, why don't we have a nice sing-a-long, all together then, shall we? 282 00:14:48,427 --> 00:14:50,054 Oh, no, too much! 283 00:14:53,140 --> 00:14:55,142 Oh, no, not enough! 284 00:14:56,018 --> 00:14:58,479 ♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪ 285 00:14:58,562 --> 00:15:00,314 ♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪ 286 00:15:00,397 --> 00:15:02,399 ♪ And on that farm he had a… ♪ 287 00:15:04,818 --> 00:15:05,819 ♪ had a… ♪ 288 00:15:06,445 --> 00:15:07,446 ♪ Pig. ♪ 289 00:15:07,530 --> 00:15:09,073 ♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪ 290 00:15:09,156 --> 00:15:10,157 - ♪ With a… ♪ - ♪ Oink, oink… ♪ 291 00:15:10,241 --> 00:15:11,283 - ♪ Here and a… ♪ - ♪ Oink, oink… ♪ 292 00:15:11,367 --> 00:15:12,952 - ♪ There ♪ - ♪ Here an oink, there an oink ♪ 293 00:15:13,035 --> 00:15:14,119 ♪ Everywhere an oink, oink ♪ 294 00:15:14,203 --> 00:15:16,330 ♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪ 295 00:15:16,413 --> 00:15:17,915 ♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪ 296 00:15:17,998 --> 00:15:20,668 Oh, what was I supposed to do next? Oh, what was the main course again? 297 00:15:20,751 --> 00:15:22,294 It was… Steak… 298 00:15:22,378 --> 00:15:23,754 No. Steak… 299 00:15:23,838 --> 00:15:25,589 Steak… Diane! 300 00:15:25,673 --> 00:15:26,715 Yes? 301 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:30,135 Oh, I think that must be my wife summoning me. 302 00:15:30,678 --> 00:15:32,304 She calls you "Diane?" 303 00:15:33,305 --> 00:15:36,058 Yes, it's her pet name for me. 304 00:15:37,393 --> 00:15:40,229 I'm just coming, Fred. 305 00:15:42,064 --> 00:15:43,190 Excuse me a moment. 306 00:15:47,069 --> 00:15:48,237 Oh, no. 307 00:15:49,864 --> 00:15:51,323 How can I be of assistance? 308 00:15:51,407 --> 00:15:54,910 Well, the chicken is no longer a chicken and the lobsters just flew the coop 309 00:15:54,994 --> 00:15:56,620 so the steak is the last man standing. 310 00:15:57,121 --> 00:16:00,291 It says here I can cut down the prep time with a meat tenderizer. 311 00:16:00,374 --> 00:16:02,543 Excellent plan. Where's the tenderizer? 312 00:16:02,626 --> 00:16:04,336 - I'm looking at him. - Ah. 313 00:16:04,420 --> 00:16:05,462 Hoo-hoo in there! 314 00:16:05,546 --> 00:16:07,339 Hoo-hoo back to you! 315 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:08,841 Okay. 316 00:16:08,924 --> 00:16:12,636 Finish the meat, find the lobsters. I'll be right back. 317 00:16:14,221 --> 00:16:15,556 I hope you're hungry. 318 00:16:15,639 --> 00:16:16,891 Starved, is more like it. 319 00:16:16,974 --> 00:16:19,393 My head is starting to feel woozy. 320 00:16:22,104 --> 00:16:23,439 Were either of you aware 321 00:16:23,522 --> 00:16:26,859 that married men are killing single men at an alarming rate? 322 00:16:27,526 --> 00:16:29,612 What are you going on about? 323 00:16:29,695 --> 00:16:30,905 And what's going on in there? 324 00:16:30,988 --> 00:16:33,532 Whoo-hoo! Ho-ho! 325 00:16:36,327 --> 00:16:37,369 Who could that be? 326 00:16:37,953 --> 00:16:39,205 Coming! 327 00:16:40,331 --> 00:16:42,208 Oh, you didn't answer the back door. 328 00:16:42,291 --> 00:16:43,918 For your upside-down cake. 329 00:16:44,001 --> 00:16:45,920 Oh! Hi, I… 330 00:16:46,003 --> 00:16:47,004 Who was that? 331 00:16:47,087 --> 00:16:48,589 - A salesman! - Telegram! 332 00:16:48,672 --> 00:16:50,466 A man selling telegrams. 333 00:16:50,549 --> 00:16:52,635 Wouldn't you know it. Good news is more expensive. 334 00:16:53,511 --> 00:16:56,680 I couldn't find the lobsters and did you want the meat tender or pulverized? 335 00:16:56,764 --> 00:16:57,932 Oh, dear. 336 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,603 Well. I think tonight's going swimmingly. 337 00:17:03,312 --> 00:17:05,523 Anyone for Parcheesi? 338 00:17:05,648 --> 00:17:08,567 - My head is spinning. - Oh, Mrs. Hart… 339 00:17:09,109 --> 00:17:11,028 Did you hear that? My wife's head is spinning. 340 00:17:11,111 --> 00:17:13,322 Generally speaking, I don't like her head to do that. 341 00:17:15,574 --> 00:17:16,742 Time to improvise. 342 00:17:18,285 --> 00:17:21,413 You know, I'm beginning to think you're not management material, Vision. 343 00:17:21,497 --> 00:17:23,123 You know, I had high hopes for you. 344 00:17:23,207 --> 00:17:26,836 But from what I've seen here tonight, you can barely keep it together. 345 00:17:26,919 --> 00:17:29,922 I mean, look around. There's all this chaos going on in your household. 346 00:17:31,173 --> 00:17:32,383 Now, when are we gonna eat? 347 00:17:32,466 --> 00:17:34,051 Dinner is served. 348 00:17:35,427 --> 00:17:36,428 Ah! 349 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:39,265 Breakfast for dinner? 350 00:17:40,766 --> 00:17:41,767 How very… 351 00:17:41,851 --> 00:17:43,185 European. 352 00:17:44,270 --> 00:17:46,522 Ooh! Let's have a toast! 353 00:17:47,314 --> 00:17:50,484 To my lovely and talented wife. 354 00:17:50,609 --> 00:17:52,862 To our esteemed guests. 355 00:17:52,945 --> 00:17:54,321 Yes. Cin cin. 356 00:17:54,405 --> 00:17:55,406 Cheers. 357 00:17:57,783 --> 00:17:59,535 Well, please eat before it gets cold. 358 00:17:59,618 --> 00:18:01,495 - Hmm? - Oh, Mrs. Hart, allow me. 359 00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:05,416 So, where did you two move from? 360 00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:07,126 What brought you here? 361 00:18:07,209 --> 00:18:10,504 How long have you been married? And why don't you have children yet? 362 00:18:14,466 --> 00:18:19,722 I think what my wife means to say is that we moved from… 363 00:18:19,805 --> 00:18:21,515 Yes, we moved from… 364 00:18:22,933 --> 00:18:24,435 And we were married… 365 00:18:24,518 --> 00:18:27,229 Yes, yes, we were married in… 366 00:18:27,938 --> 00:18:31,358 Well? Moved from where? Married when? 367 00:18:31,483 --> 00:18:32,484 Now, patience, Arthur. 368 00:18:32,568 --> 00:18:34,778 They're setting up their story. Let them tell it. 369 00:18:35,237 --> 00:18:36,363 We… 370 00:18:36,447 --> 00:18:38,240 Our story… 371 00:18:39,491 --> 00:18:41,577 Yes, what exactly is your story? 372 00:18:41,660 --> 00:18:43,537 Oh, just leave the poor kids alone. 373 00:18:44,496 --> 00:18:47,041 No, really, I mean, I think it's a perfectly simple question. 374 00:18:47,791 --> 00:18:48,959 Honestly. 375 00:18:49,043 --> 00:18:50,252 Why did you come here? 376 00:18:51,754 --> 00:18:52,963 Why? 377 00:18:54,715 --> 00:18:56,550 Damn it, why? Why did you… 378 00:19:01,472 --> 00:19:02,973 Oh, Arthur, stop it. 379 00:19:06,185 --> 00:19:08,354 Stop it. 380 00:19:09,146 --> 00:19:10,231 Stop it. 381 00:19:12,233 --> 00:19:15,319 Stop it. Stop it. 382 00:19:16,779 --> 00:19:18,739 Stop it. 383 00:19:18,822 --> 00:19:20,199 Stop it. 384 00:19:22,117 --> 00:19:23,118 Stop it. 385 00:19:23,202 --> 00:19:24,245 Stop it. 386 00:19:26,497 --> 00:19:28,541 Stop it. Stop it. 387 00:19:28,624 --> 00:19:29,667 Stop it. 388 00:19:30,835 --> 00:19:31,836 Stop it. 389 00:19:31,919 --> 00:19:32,962 Vision, help him. 390 00:19:47,977 --> 00:19:48,978 Let me help you up. 391 00:19:49,478 --> 00:19:50,479 Give me your hand. 392 00:19:52,231 --> 00:19:53,566 All right, steady on, sir. 393 00:19:58,279 --> 00:20:01,240 Well, would you look at the time? 394 00:20:01,365 --> 00:20:03,784 Yes. We'd better be going. 395 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,162 Well… Are you both all right? 396 00:20:07,663 --> 00:20:10,332 We had such a lovely time. 397 00:20:11,250 --> 00:20:14,086 This guest is leaving your home. 398 00:20:15,754 --> 00:20:17,923 Yes, thank you for coming. 399 00:20:20,092 --> 00:20:21,552 You made me proud tonight, son. 400 00:20:21,635 --> 00:20:24,430 First thing Monday morning, you and me are gonna have a little chat. 401 00:20:25,389 --> 00:20:27,641 We'll see about that promotion. 402 00:20:27,725 --> 00:20:28,893 Yes, sir! Thank you, sir! 403 00:20:31,562 --> 00:20:32,563 Thank you. 404 00:20:36,192 --> 00:20:37,318 Oh… 405 00:20:38,777 --> 00:20:40,905 What a charming door knocker. 406 00:20:42,448 --> 00:20:43,449 Good night! 407 00:20:54,877 --> 00:20:56,962 We are an unusual couple, ya know? 408 00:20:57,046 --> 00:20:58,923 Oh, I don't think that was ever in question. 409 00:20:59,423 --> 00:21:03,761 Well, what I mean is… We don't have an anniversary. 410 00:21:03,844 --> 00:21:05,554 - Huh. - Or a song. 411 00:21:06,222 --> 00:21:07,681 Or even wedding rings. 412 00:21:07,765 --> 00:21:09,141 Well, we could remedy that. 413 00:21:09,808 --> 00:21:11,310 Today could be our anniversary. 414 00:21:11,393 --> 00:21:13,979 Of what? Surviving our first dinner party? 415 00:21:14,063 --> 00:21:16,524 Precisely. And our song could be? 416 00:21:16,607 --> 00:21:17,900 Yakety Yak, naturally. 417 00:21:17,983 --> 00:21:18,984 - Naturally. - Hmm. 418 00:21:20,653 --> 00:21:21,654 And the rings? 419 00:21:23,030 --> 00:21:24,532 Well, couldn't you make some for us? 420 00:21:32,706 --> 00:21:33,707 I do. 421 00:21:34,792 --> 00:21:35,793 Do you? 422 00:21:37,002 --> 00:21:39,213 Yes. I do. 423 00:21:41,006 --> 00:21:42,883 And they lived happily ever after.